Here we document our way to 1,000 dates – the joys, challenges, growing pains – and all the in-betweens.
Date #345 – Thursday, July 10, 2014
A: B’s parents are awesome! They sailed to the city! Woah! Of course we went to visit them! I love Toronto Island. It’s such a nice little escape RIGHT in the heart of such a metropolis. I love that you have to take a boat and you can bring your bike and that it feel like you’re so far from all the dirt and spin of urban living that it’s a mini-vacation-feeling-experience. I’m happy to share all that with B… Well… that he brings me along with him on these sorts of things. I wouldn’t have had the chance to do this otherwise.
B: I think it is super adorable and inspiring when my parents go on adventures like this. They do it a lot actually. Growing up my sisters and I would always be included. Now, they finally are going on their own adventures but they still like to include us as much as possible.
I think they were as ecstatic to see as as we were to see them. It was pretty amazing to get this perspective of the city. I love going to the Island, but being on a boat in the water with this massive city towering over you is kind of an incredible feeling. I felt small and vulnerable but also happy to be a part of something so much bigger than me. I was happy to be sharing that with A and my parents.
I hope when we are their age and have been together as long as them we still find ways to do amazing, new, and scary things like my parents do.
Father’s Day in Whitby
Date #315 – Sunday, June 15, 2014
B: I love my Dad. We used to have a pretty rocky relationship, but now we’re really close. You could say we have always been close, but I fought it hard when I was young. He is very adamant on family time and I admire how much love he has to share.
I’m happy he so willingly and joyfully shares that with A too. I know he was super happy that she came to Whitby to spend the day with us. We all went out on my parents sail boat and then played Ticket to Ride together.
It was a really fun day and at the end my Dad kept going on about how we should do it again. I know A has a different relationship with her Father and I’m happy she can experience this new kind of relationship with my Dad. I read this amazing article she wrote and I learned so much more about her.
I am super grateful to have such a balanced male role-model in my life and I try to tell him that as much as possible.
A: I love B’s dad too. He’s fun and funny and is super creative so it’s neat to see him and B interact. He also has a wicked Irish accent and it makes me nostalgic for those travelling days and inspires me to get out there more. B’s family is very international, actually, and they’re incredibly active and busy people – fitness, music, food… They’re all very cultured and sweet about it.
B’s dad let me sail the boat then crawled to the other side and said he was having a nap. It was just B and I was all, “Aaaaaah!” but it was fine. I didn’t tip the boat!
(B linked to an article that I’ve temporarily put on hold due to some personal roadblocks – but it’ll be back soon!)
Whitby, work, and healing
Date #303 – Thursday, June 5, 2014
A: We spent the day in Whitby. B’s mom came in the night before to be there for B and we went home with her. It was good to have someone else there. It deinitely let me worry a little less about what could happen with B. You never know about the outcome of an accident until you know… You know? I don’t know. I distracted myself with freelance projects while B took baths and sat on heat packs. That’s what we did. All day.
B: A, my Mom and my older Sister all convinced me to go back to Whitby after the accident. On the way back (the night before) we picked up pizza from Panago and a bunch of other snacks that were unhealthy. Sometimes, when the adrenaline is running high from stress, you just want to keep eating high-glucose foods. It was fun to spend a night with A and my Mom. We watched Nashville on Netflix and I took a long epsom salt bath followed by an ice-cold shower. I also drank a lot of Vega’s Recovery Accelerator.
The next day was I took another one of these hot baths + cold showers. I woke up feeling better than I expected. I was moving slow and had little mobility, but I wasn’t in constant pain and that was good. We visited the doctor and A did a lot of work. I’m happy she was able to be productive, I was worried about that. I hate how these kinds of things can derail routine.
Double Mom Birthdays!
Date #217 – March 8, 2014
A: I was really nervous for this dinner but it was solely due to my own control issues and insecurities that I know now I should keep to myself. I have never had a parent-parent dinner. It’s weird. It went well and both our moms said they had a good time. I think the funniest moment was B’s mom’s reaction to my mom saying, “Oh yeah, it’s true love,” referring to me and B. B’s mom’s eyes widened. My mom has a checklist of things she wants and has always pressed me to come through for her. This is the first time I haven’t wholeheartedly fought her on it and I think it gives her a sense of clairvoyance. She is also a positivist; if you think that it is, then it is… or maybe it’s the wine that makes her this way, haha.
B: I was nervous about this dinner too. We ate at Le Saint Tropez, which had OK food and an amazing piano player.
Our parents have met, but people can be particular about birthdays and dinners are another bag of tricks. I did really want A’s Mom to come, and when A’s Mom protested for a bit I convinced her to come – I think she was nervous too. It was a lot of fun and definitely eased the tension a bit (even when my Mom criticized me for rolling my cuffs). I’m glad our parents get along.
Double Feature + Daddy Issues – Date #48 – August 21, 2013
B: It had been awhile since A and I went to the movies (Date #31 to be exact) so we decided to be see two in one night – The Wolverine and World War Z – both in 3D. Visually the movies were awesome, but otherwise they were both pretty standard. We packed a tone of food (including zucchini pasta with a homemade vegan pesto). I also got to explain the Bechdel Test to A and how both movies did a pretty crappy job of portraying women.
After, on the walk home, A started opening up about her Dad and some of the issues she has with him. In the past, I would only get small details before A would change the subject. This time she spoke more about him than ever. I tried relating to her concerns over whether she should be hate him or be thankful that she actually knows her father by discussing some pretty serious issues I have with my sister and things that have happened to her. Later A confessed that she wasn’t done talking about her Dad and I admitted I need to do a better job of listening.
A:I tried to open up to B and the little child in me thought, “Stupid Brian talking about himself again.” I often feel like I’m a little girl in a big girl’s body. Total Daddy issues. But then the adult in me was like, “Wow, what B is saying is interesting and hard and relevant and I want to talk about this and I never want to discuss my dad so shut up baby Andrea, it’s all right.” So I didn’t say anything even though I tried, internally. When we were falling asleep B said, “I feel sad for some reason, and I don’t know why.” I knew why. I was ignoring him emotionally and rejecting him physically, despite my brain saying, “Stop making it so obvious, Andrea.” I told him I was upset that he cut me off and talked about his shit instead. I didn’t think it was fair. But we talked about it then slept so maybe we’ll try again next time I never bring up my dad again.
But about movie talk… We were clearly worried we wouldn’t have enough food because WE HAD SO MUCH FOOD. Wolverine was boring and my sugar levels peaked halfway through and all I wanted to do was make-out like two sixteen year old kids. I really liked WWZ. Except for the ending. Whatever happened to ending movies instead of setting them up for sequels? The former feels so much better.