A: Wednesday was my mom’s last day. We butted head a little. She was here to stay with my while B went to work and it was definitely a spotlight on our relationship. I was afraid of boring her. I felt all this pressure I tried hard not to feel, and I’m honestly not sure how she felt. We play backgammon until my arm got sore (3 games, heh) and it was really nice. We are really close, but being together in times of trauma was a totally different feeling. Sometimes it’s hard to communicate with the ones that are closest to you… I’m sure you know the feeling.
In any case, B really helps with all of this. He’s a great communicator, especially to my mom. At least, I think so. I wonder if she thinks so as well…
B: A’s Mom brought a ton of groceries. Honestly, having a bunch of pre-made food and supplements around is super helpful. The brain is mostly fat and recovery requires a nutrient dense diet. I made sure A kept eating, knowing that loss of appetite can be a by-product of a concussion.
I made sure A was drinking a smoothie filled with protein, chia and flax, hemp seed oil, and E3 Live every morning. Along with Magnesium, Calcium, Zinc, and Vitamin C and D. Later she would take Iron (zinc and Iron shouldn’t be taken together). Traditionally A resists taking care of herself, but this time she was being really good.
Apparently this day went a bit better than the day before and I was thankful for that. We all had dinner together with some of the massive quantity of food A’s Mom brought.
I felt much more relaxed this day. The next day would be A’s first day alone. Her arms were still fractured and that meant she really should not be lifting or moving anything. I was worried about that…
BJ Mother’s Day game
Date #283 – Sunday, May 11, 2014
A: I went to London the Saturday to spend time with my mom and Grandma for Mother’s day and came back to Toronto to go to the Jays game with B and his parents who graciously bought me a ticket. We sat in awesome seats. (B and I usually stand or sit at the picnic tables in the 100 level because the 500’s is so high up, though I don’t mind…)
My friend started this epic bakery out of her home in London called Teacup Bakery and I brought 6 cupcakes for B’s mom (my mom already had hers!) and they were so good. I can’t even tell you how incredible they were. B’s mom really liked them which made me happy because – honestly – what do you get your boyfriend’s mom for mother’s day? It could get awkward with a card! My go-to is always wine but I would’ve had to chug it before going into the game…………..ha…………
Also, for humour’s sake, let’s add this date to the double date pile. We seem to go on a lot of them with B’s parents. *blushes*
B: I’m really happy that I have such a good relationship with my parents and that they seem to like A almost as much as I do.
The bluejays did a really great job at celebrating Mom’s in all forms. Everything was done in pink and they had a manicure and spa set-up. They also were giving out pink roses but we were too late. I texted A to see if she could get some and she managed to get a few in addition to her cupcakes. My Mom was so happy.
St. Lawrence Market + Mom Time – Date #173 – Jan 18, 2014
B: A’s Mom was visiting and so we planned to go to Toronto’s famous St. Lawrence Market. This would be A and her Mom’s first time and I was super excited. I used to live close to this amazing, two-story market and would shop there every week.
Shopping there can be hectic on a Saturday (it is super crowded) and A was still tired from the night before. That combined with a hectic market and the pressure of one’s family visiting created some visual tension. I tried helping as much as possible, showing A some of the great sights. I did get distracted by this Mexican chocolate (the most incredible chocolate I’ve ever had) but then delightfully took A to this great coffee roaster.
We then bought the supplies for this salad before I took A to the only place that has me speaking favourably about grains – St. Urbain Bagel. My handing A a sample turned in to her buying a half-dozen and a container of the best cream cheese I’ve ever had. When I tried to help her carry it that created some sort of argument (I tried to help, she wanted to carry the bagels, I let her, she accused me of not helping).
I tried discussing it quietly, but even hushed tones show frustration, and with A’s Mom and Friend around, a discussion was a bad idea. Observing this I decided to walk to get some mustard and let things cool down. They did and the rest of the day was great.
***Lesson: when getting no where take a break and revisit things (the argument was a by-product of stress anyways).***
Later we all went to Yoga which was fabulous and then came home to have dinner and watch movies. While A and her Mom relaxed I made the salad you see above and some pierogies with friend onions. Here is the salad recipe from A’s Mom:
Finely chop 2 heads of broccoli and 1 head of cauliflower
Grate 1 large carrot
Add 1 cup sunflower seeds
Add 1 cup currants
Add ½ cup raisins
Add 3-4 tablespoons of lemon juice
Add 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil
Drizzle with honey
While eating we watched The Last Stand and The Heat. Two relatively brainless buddy, cop movies. One was good for action, one was good for laughs – you figure out which one is which.
OK, I want to pause and tell you some things I think about A’s Mom. One, her and A are very different in a lot of ways, and very similar in others. But, regardless of how I feel or think about anything else about A’s Mom, the one overarching, trump’s everything else reality, is that she raised the woman I am head over heels in love with. Everyone has some messed up thoughts and feelings about their parent(s) (biological or otherwise) and meeting the parent(s) of your significant other is a challenge. You have to balance the sensitivity of their feelings with your own new thoughts and feelings and still try to form your own relationship with said parent(s).
Basically, what I’m getting at, is that it feels like we’re becoming a family (or, I’m getting brought in to their family). Which means that there are growing pains. Things are great, we get a bit closer, things hurt a little, then the pain goes away and we’re still closer. I love it all, even when I’m groaning about the pain, because it means I’m getting more family members. (A’s Mom even called me her son-in-law at one point…legally I’m not, but emotionally it feels more and more like that).
So…during the movies A and I exchanged some looks while A’s Mom made a bunch of comments during the film. I think a lot of people can relate to knowing someone who talks through movies. A’s Mom is awesome and I love her and so, when it comes to trying moments like that, I remind myself of all the awesome things she does.
A: My mother has a beautiful, strong personality. She doesn’t have a problem being herself around those she feels comfortable with and this includes all the ways she makes me laugh, and frustrates me. Naturally, B picks up on this and is usually great at handling me. I honestly can’t tell you why, but I become a grumpy child in my mother’s presence sometimes. Actually… I could tell you why. But I’m not going to.
The day was nice. We went to yoga which was my biggest concern (that it wouldn’t happen) and my mom was actually amazing and far more flexible than I’d imagined. She did so well. And so did B. Being there with the two people I admire most beside me, sharing a practice I often do alone, was so incredible. I could barely focus, I was so excited.
Day With A’s Mom – Date #33 – July 20, 2013
B: I was super nervous to meet A’s Mom for the first time. Maybe it was because I know how close they are. Maybe it was because A gets the strength to speak her mind from her Mother…
My fears were settled, however, the moment A’s Mom walked in and pinched my cheek telling me how cute I am. I couldn’t stop smiling. I spent the rest of the day wandering Kensington with her, A, and A’s cousin, enthralled by the woman who raised the beautiful person I’m lucky to call my girlfriend. Oh! and she gave me an Opal.
A: B is really getting into his emotional side recounting all these dates. Should I let my guard down a little? Are my snarky/sarcastic comments enough? When my mom pinched B’s cheeks, her and I looked at each other like, “What the-???” because it was such a weird thing for her to do. She told me he’s a keeper cause she never did that to anyone before. She usually pulls me aside and says, “Ditch ‘em, Andrea,” which is funny (except I apologize on the off chance any guy is reading this that I used to date… But why would they be…) so it must mean something if my mother isn’t compelled to tell me to move on to the next one (my mom and I have an unconventional relationship, obviously). Besides, I’m really into this one because I think he’s truly something great. Truly. (And my mom likes him too!)