Tag: dating

Recovery Day 7 – Walking, shopping, working

Date #357 – Saturday, July 26, 2014

A: Finding things that don’t require me to stare at a screen are great – so we went for a walk. A photo walk; sauntering around Church-Wellesly Village and over to some bookstores on Yonge. I also got a bunch of M&Ms because there was a promo code inside to get 2 free movie tickets. Worth it!

Spending time in the bookstore was awesome. B and I picked up a couple books – I got some pulpy syfy from the 40’s and another Bradbury book which was recommended. B got a haiku book and a Richter coffee table book. I smiled like a goof when he told me his book choices. He’s basically a dream of mine. I mean, a haiku book. Swoon.

B: A adorably worked out the cost of these bags of M &Ms and how many you would have to buy to get the 2 movie ticket deal vs the cost of 2 movie tickets and determined it was worth buying the M&Ms. I was worried about all the sugar and also that A can’t eat M&Ms because of her teeth being broken…which meant I would probably eat them all.

We went though and she was super happy. It was cute.

I love being in bookstores. I love being surrounded by all that knowledge. I can’t wait to have my own book of poetry in there. It terrifies me and that means I must do it. I bought a book of Haikus by Masaoka Shiki (I think) and I book of paintings from Gerhardt Richter (one of my favourites).

World Pride Parade 2014!

Date #332 – Sunday, June 29, 2014

A: It was an epic day of celebration! I love this city and I had all these amazing friends and family to share it with. I hosted a sangria brunch that B couldn’t make it to (what were you doing again??) but we managed to meet at our friend’s place. I’d never seen the parade from this angle, and it was great. This was B’s and my’s first pride together. So stoked for more. I think this might be one of my favourite days of the year!

B: World Pride was a huge week of festivites that ended with the Pride Parade. This is my favourite parade because everyone is always so happy and festive. I was worried this year because standing was still difficult because of my bike accident.

Luckily, A’s friend has a sweet apartment on Yonge St. and we got to watch the Parade from his place. I was so stoked when I got there to find his entire family playing “water-balloon catch” with people in the parade and shooting water guns. 

Everyone is so happy. Many of the police officers joined in and the crowd cheered at them taunting us to throw the balloons. Some politicians, including Mayoral candidate Olivia Chow, were also having a huge blast. 

The parade was ridiculously long but it was super fun. A got pretty tipsy and was so happy and I thought it was adorable. We were at the bar and she was sassing the server and I felt so in love with her. I love when A is happy.

ICFF Closing Night Gala

Date #320 – Friday, June 20, 2014

A: B and I were invited to Casa Loma in celebration of the ICFF closing night gala. It was beautiful; an outdoor event on the back terrace of the castle. Neither B and I have ever been so we were really stoked to check out the inside but I guess we still can’t say we’ve gone to Casa Loma!

The ICFF are gracious hosts – tables of cheese, olives, sundried tomatoes, breads, olive oils, yum… and an open bar! I wish I asked what red they were serving because it was yum!

One of my favourite things about this festival is how supportive they are of the Italian culture. There were so many people attending from Italy and the accents were so charming! Jus tlike listening to B’s dad, I was so fond and nostalgic for my visits to Italy. Firenze was one of my favourite places in the world.

B: Yes that’s a giant roll of cheese. And yes that’s a Ferrari. And YES we are at a castle! What a glorious night. 

Maybe there was no Steve Baldwin and it was a bit chilly outside, but sitting by a fountain and just talking about anything with A was pretty sweet. Most of the people at the closing were speaking Italian and I totally felt like an outsider and I kind of liked that.

Movies & Tough Walk

Date #312 – Wednesday, June 11, 2014

B: Sometimes I don’t want to admit my limits. Today was one of those days. I just finished an intense physical-therapy session (I was hit by a car) and really wanted to just lie beside A. I know she wanted to see me too. I also had her DVD screeners for the Italian Contemporary Film Festival (ICFF) and so I knew if I made it to her place we would get to watch foreign cinema together.

I was so lethargic that, when I set out to walk to her place, I was moving at 1/4 my standard pace. I called A and I could tell she had no idea how to handle my complaining. I also was barely making sound, so I’m not even sure she knew what I was going through. I was in-pain and maybe should have stayed home. Or not. I’m not sure. I just know that I need to make a decision and stick with it and not complain.

A: After talking to B I got on my bike and biked in the direction he’d be walking. When I found him hobbling (okay, he doesn’t like that word, sorry) along slowly with his purple keep cup I could tell it was one of those days for him. I think the best thing you can do when someone’s experiencing these sorts of feelings is to listen to them and be there for them. So that’s what I tried.

Healing practices, OITND, + National Doughnut Day

Date #304 – Friday, June 6, 2014

A: It wasn’t until we were back at my apartment and well into Orange is the New Black that I realized it was Lua’s 8th birthday AND also National Doughnut Day. Because of all this we promptly left on a search for doughnuts. Unfortunately my neighbourhood is hurting for two things: an abundance of coffee shops and bakeries. There’s basically nothing and, no, we do not count Starbucks, Country Style, Tim’s, blah blah. We don’t count those. But today we had to.

And I know I want to blame B for being a horrendous influence by saying over and over that “I never used to eat ANY doughnuts before I met Brian” (which is TRUE)…. but it’s more likely this thing called self-control. That. I don’t have that. Any advice on how to get some would be great.

B: I could blame my on-again-off-again doughnut obsession on my Dad, but like A said, it’s about self-control. I was feeling sad for myself and my accident so of course I used National Doughnut Day to indulge!

If we were in my neighbourhood (Little Italy) I could visit an array of local bakeries, but we weren’t and we were only able to find Country Style. We started watching Orange is the New Black and I have to say the first few episodes were disappointing, unfocused, and drawn out. Multiple times I noticed how shots went on to long and many scenes were simply people standing around talking. Luckily, the doughnuts were pretty good.

Whitby, work, and healing

Date #303 – Thursday, June 5, 2014

A: We spent the day in Whitby. B’s mom came in the night before to be there for B and we went home with her. It was good to have someone else there. It deinitely let me worry a little less about what could happen with B. You never know about the outcome of an accident until you know… You know? I don’t know. I distracted myself with freelance projects while B took baths and sat on heat packs. That’s what we did. All day.

B: A, my Mom and my older Sister all convinced me to go back to Whitby after the accident. On the way back (the night before) we picked up pizza from Panago and a bunch of other snacks that were unhealthy. Sometimes, when the adrenaline is running high from stress, you just want to keep eating high-glucose foods. It was fun to spend a night with A and my Mom. We watched Nashville on Netflix and I took a long epsom salt bath followed by an ice-cold shower. I also drank a lot of Vega’s Recovery Accelerator.

The next day was I took another one of these hot baths + cold showers. I woke up feeling better than I expected. I was moving slow and had little mobility, but I wasn’t in constant pain and that was good. We visited the doctor and A did a lot of work. I’m happy she was able to be productive, I was worried about that. I hate how these kinds of things can derail routine.

Welcome home treats

Date #299 – Monday, June 2, 2014

B: On our last date, during our FaceTime call, I told with A about how I used to have a sombrero and lost it. I got it in high school at an event but left it on the train on the way home. For some reason I was still sad by this. Whenever I see ponchos and sombreros I think Clint Eastwood and Western films.

A brought back this amazing sombrero for me and it only cost $5. The best part was probably all the pictures she sent me of her wearing it around Ottawa. They were hilarious and awesome!

A: A few dates ago at the VCTO, Brian put on a poncho and, because of the video I made, the poncho became a thing Brian wears. Naturally. Well, I went to the Ottawa Little Theatre garage sale in Ottawa and, although there were no ponchos, I got this sweet sombrero for $5! I’m not sure if B ACTUALLY likes it, but it was a funny thing to carry around all weekend.

Face time date!!!

Date #298 – Friday, May 30, 2014

A: I headed to Ottawa for the weekend on a ticket I’d bought months ago because it was so cheap. When I got there, Brian FaceTime’d me. I propped my phone up on the counter and it was as though he was in our conversation. It was weird. Yes, technology still weirds me out. It was cool to have him there. Somehow it happened that the three of us were eventually wearing hats so we sent Brian on a venture to find one at his parents house where he was.

A weird and funny hour. Yes… Hour!

B: I’ve never really FaceTime’d in a way that feels natural…until now. I was surprised at how I actually felt like I was with A and her friends in Ottawa. 

I was at my parents’ house sitting and going stir crazy. It was fun to talk to A and her friends and for them to actually participate in the conversation and treat me like one of the gang. The hat part was fun.

Hot Docs after-party and lazy Sunday

Date #277 – Sunday, May 4, 2014

A: It was the last day of Hot Docs and B had to work at 5:30 so I made salad and stayed on the couch. I don’t think I left the couch. I wasn’t hungover at all, I think I just had a case of the Sundays. I know B did too, but it was harder for him because he had to mentally party over to the movie theatre. 

I know one thing B and I spoke about on this day was the reaction we get every so often when we’re interacting with the world independently and the people we’re interacting with find out we’re in a relationship. I’m saying, for example, women who find out B isn’t single. When this happens to me, and the person reacts negatively or distances themselves from me when they find out I’m in a relationship, I feel uncomfortable and guilty. I know most people want partnership, acceptance, and love, and I think society has sculpted us to believe we can only get this out of a sexual/intimate relationship. Once we learn that the person is “off limits,” it sometimes changes the dynamic. In moments like this I want to shake the world while also making teddy bears and ice cream sandwiches appear so whoever is interacting with whoever can feel happy, and accepted and loved and not guilty like I sometimes feel. I am rambling and being somewhat vague about this topic of conversation. I guess I’m just saying that I know what it feels like to be single and to have my eye out for every person I am attracted to and how unlucky I felt to find whichever person was “off limits.” I wish that I was able to view people as people – potential friends first, instead of potential partners/boyfriends/lovers. But B says we’re animals and animals like to mate. So that’s probably why it’s such a hard topic to separate, I suppose. B…. thoughts on this??? 

B: I know the exact feeling A is describing. I think I feel something similar. To give context, I was working the final day of Hot Docs and then was attending the after-party with all the various staff of the festival. I spoke to A later in the night about my the evening and how, even before everything began, the air was filled with sexual tension and anticipation.

I love connecting with people. I also love honesty and openness. I think people want this but sometimes a lot of things can get in the way. When I am talking with someone and they seem to loose interest when they find out I’m not available (people loose interest in conversations with me for other reasons too) it definitely hurts a bit. Parties sometimes can be hard that way.

Most people there want to connect, they just want to connect on different levels. When you find someone else on your level (say a plutonic, philosophical, deep conversation level….or an intense make-out level) it can be amazing. I got some amazing hugs that night and had some amazing conversations. I love Hot Docs and the staff.

Mad Men all the time – Date #159 – January 2nd

A: This photo was taken on the 3rd at B’s but he gave me the coffee on the 2nd. I was so excited. Or wait. Did he give me the coffee on the 3rd? Some things are so trivial but I feel they must be accurate despite my horrible memory. I blame all the pot I smoked in grade 11 and 12 for every shortcoming I have and that’s what I’m doing now.

We watched Mad Men this night and chilled out after doing our own thing all day. I said, “Happy birthday!!” as we watched. We minimized the full screen Netflix player and saw it was only 11:58PM. “Two more minutes!!” I said as I snuggled into B’s armpit. And only two more minutes until I was asleep. No happy birthdays at midnight because I’m a sloth. Sorry B!

B: I remember A falling asleep and thinking “I know she is going to care more about falling asleep 2 minutes before my birthday than I will.” I was looked at A, asleep, and thought about how happy I was (and am).