A: B’s been working full-time for a couple weeks now and so I tried reading my book again while he worked. I also ate an ice cream sandwich for breakfast. B was so distracted by work, he didn’t even try to sell me on anything healthier. This is how busy he’s been! Me? Well, I got a concussion and basically stared at a wall for 7 days. But B took care of me so I love him and kept quiet while he caught up.
B: I remember the ice cream sandwiches and not much else. I know I was starting to feel really stressed.
I think A tried to do a few things herself and then needed my help and I was upset for being pulled away from my work. I always get upset when I’m focusing and then get distracted, it’s a reaction and not one I love.
There was a lot of stuff I wanted to finish working on and I know A needed my attention and I felt bad for feeling upset. It wasn’t me being upset with her but the situation. But I know I took this out on her…for which I feel sorry for.
A: My friend was sweet enough to hunt down a Harry Potter audiobook for me because I’m not supposed to read. Or… I wasn’t supposed to read. I can read now, but this audiobook is So. Amazing. I can’t even express how much I recommend Jim Dale anything now. He’s such a talented reader/actor. I don’t even know who he is. Let me search. Woaaah, he received 2 grammy nomination for HP audiobooks. He should’ve won. They’re amazing. B and I listened to the first three chapters with “oh yeahs” and “oh rights” as we recalled our memories. We’ve both read the books. I love Harry Potter. I always forget until I get sucked back in again.
B: I haven’t listened to an audio book in FOREVER! It was nice sitting in the dark listening with A. We were still keeping her away from screens as much as possible.
She’s a writer and writes on several TV shows and so this was really difficult. I felt bad but I wanted to make sure she healed as quick as possible to return to some of her writing contracts.
Earlier I forgot to mention that we were listening to calming wave and rain sounds this whole time. I got this app called Noisli. I realized that in addition to helping A, constant background noise keeps me extremely calm (or at least calmer than usual).
Anyways, this was the first time listening to non-ambient sounds and it was cool.
Date #345 – Thursday, July 10, 2014
A: B’s parents are awesome! They sailed to the city! Woah! Of course we went to visit them! I love Toronto Island. It’s such a nice little escape RIGHT in the heart of such a metropolis. I love that you have to take a boat and you can bring your bike and that it feel like you’re so far from all the dirt and spin of urban living that it’s a mini-vacation-feeling-experience. I’m happy to share all that with B… Well… that he brings me along with him on these sorts of things. I wouldn’t have had the chance to do this otherwise.
B: I think it is super adorable and inspiring when my parents go on adventures like this. They do it a lot actually. Growing up my sisters and I would always be included. Now, they finally are going on their own adventures but they still like to include us as much as possible.
I think they were as ecstatic to see as as we were to see them. It was pretty amazing to get this perspective of the city. I love going to the Island, but being on a boat in the water with this massive city towering over you is kind of an incredible feeling. I felt small and vulnerable but also happy to be a part of something so much bigger than me. I was happy to be sharing that with A and my parents.
I hope when we are their age and have been together as long as them we still find ways to do amazing, new, and scary things like my parents do.
Onion Goggles & Cookies
Date #344 – Wednesday, July 9, 2014
A: You can make fun of me all you want but those onions were STRONG and those ski goggles helped…. a little. The acid fumes still got to my eyes believe it or not, but we got it done. B and I made lentil masala (I’m guessing that’s what it’s called) and the BEST pale chico chip cookies ever!! (We haven’t made them in SO long!) And… of course… Orphan Black.
B: This was hilarious. A put on these goggles from the 80s to chop onions while we made dinner together. She is adorable.
After, while watching Orphan Black we made these Paleo cookies (no grains or processed items). I think the recipe is vegan too…
Anyways, the cookies actually were even better than they looked and I ate way too many. Mmmmm…
She’s Black He’s Jewish Oh Vey!
Date #343 – Tuesday, July 8, 2014
NOTE: B talks about sexually specific issues in this post.
A: B and I went to see She’s Black He’s Jewish They’re Married Oy Vey! at the Fringe Fest this year and it was… interesting. It was about married couple – she’s black, he’s jewish – and their performance was about successful marriage and how, if two people stemming from arguably the most repressed histories can come together and be incredibly happy in life and love, then you can too. In that regard it was funny. I enjoy sexually humorous and adventurous content, especially in public, but I am so passionate about not fitting into a box that I get a little turned off when shows are simply about heteronormative love. I think we live in a day and age where we no longer have to fit into boxes and follows formulas and there’s a freedom in that. I know a lot of people don’t see this or understand it or have had the opportunity to learn about this sort of approach to life and that heteronormative art/shows/stories take away from the possibility of people learning that there’s more to life and love than that.
I was happy to be there with B. I hope that we can spend the rest of our lives going to shows and seeing art and experiencing people in this way.
B: OH MY GOSH this play was hilarious! I laughed so hard!!
I think a play featuring people making fun of themselves, talking crudely about their own sex-lives, and ultimately offering up some great relationship advice is the perfect date. I’m so happy that we went.
I understand A’s observations about things being slightly heteronormative, but I also think these two were trying to say “this is our story and here’s what we learned that may help you too.” There were a few times where they made broad statements that painted all couples as woman + man.
There was one point where I felt somewhat uncomfortable that I haven’t talked to A about…It was when the two went on about the lesson “never let him cum first.” It was a lesson based off the idea that when a man ejaculates he doesn’t want to do anything else. Taken further and more broadly, this could be meant as “always put your partner’s needs in front of your’s”…or not.
Anyways, I know this feeling well. It’s quite often true. I don’t know what it is or why, but when I ejaculate I do loose most of my sexual interest. It has nothing to do with A and I am happy to kiss her and cuddle, I just don’t really want to do anything sexual after.
I love making A happy in all ways. Sexually, I know she often pays a lot of attention to me (with no pressure or suggestion from me at all). So when this came up in the play I felt like I was blushing a lot and thinking “Oh no! I cum first all the time. We’ve never talked about this!”
Looks like we need to have a conversation…
Guardians Let Down + Deliver Us From Evil
Date #342 – Monday, July 7, 2014
A: I got intel on a preview of Guardians of the Galaxy and found out how to get tickets. I went two hours early, B meeting me there, only to find out that it was a 17 minute preview of the scene – and we didn’t even like it. I was so many. I hated that we wasted so much time there and no one even said once it was only 17 minutes. Multiple people were confused, too. Well I wrote IMAX later and complaint that their wording was off. The ticket read: Guardians of the Galaxy – first look with an exclusive 17 minutes of footage. What do you think?
IMAX ended up compensating us with two tickets which was really nice. We also went to see Deliver Us From Evil which I thought was funny. It was our first horror in the theatre (and second overall). When we first met I asked B if he liked horror movies and he said yes. I was stoked to have a buddy to get scared with! ……but every time I suggest a horror movie B looks at like and says, “But that’s scary.” It’s adorable so I can’t get mad but, finally, we’re watching them! What should be our third??
B: I pay a lot of attention to customer service. I’ve worked for a lot of companies and I currently freelance in Media, so I really obsess over intended messages, audiences, and connecting with people.
I think Marvel Studios’ “preview” was a MASSIVE fail. I think it set the wrong expectation and, as a result, let a lot of people down. Also, they missed out on an opportunity to get a bunch of fans talking about the movie super-early.
But, it’s killing at the box-office and we were nicely reimbursed for our time so that’s all good.
What is more important is how A and I noted the one female character (and I include all background characters in this statement) we saw during our 17-minute scene. Yes, only ONE. It was an indicator of what I already suspected, a studio who in its ten releases has yet to release a film with a female lead, still doesn’t get it. Not having seen the entire film, I’ll leave you with a quote from this Salon review:
Gunn genuinely went out to create a film with “strong female characters” and was savvy enough to include a basic Bechdel pass. But then secure in the knowledge that he was meeting that goal, he failed to realize that jokes about prostitution and background characters like the Collector’s assistant and Peter Quill’s one-night-stands would serve to undermine those intentions.
TURF Day 2! Gaslight Anthem, Violent Femmes, and The Strumbellas
Date #340 – Saturday, July 5, 2014
A: I felt awful but really wanted to go to the second day of TURF. It was a beautiful day and we took it easy. I love going to these things with B. He knows people, we mingle, sit around, I occasionally see someone I know, usually drink beer (except I had the flu)… I am happy to spend these summer days with B outdoors listening to incredible music. It makes me feel lucky and un-alone. Like I’m part of this big group of awesome, talented, and hip people who are all there because we have something in common and, for the first time, I’m going to these events with a partner. An actual person that I’m trying real hard to build something with. And I’m really proud of it. There was a time when I didn’t think I’d ever have or feel this.
Gaslight Anthem was incredible although I wish the other band members, or at least one or two, spoke more. Maybe they don’t like to speak, so I shouldn’t assume what I’m assuming (lead singer syndrome!). Last time I saw them at Sound Academy I had recently been dumped and my friend ditched me so I cried the entire set. This show was way better and definitely a highlight of my summer. I liked singing to B too, even though my voice sounded like a million dying drones in the desert.
B: Looking back on this day I can already tell what was building to Sunday…
Anyways, this festival has an unreal lineup but I was so tired I could barely enjoy the festival. Yes, A was sick but she seemed really energized by the bands. I, on the other hand, was happy to just laze around. I was also still really sore from my bike accident and was trying to stand as little as possible. Even writing this now I can’t believe how hard it was to stand even for a short while.
Anyways, I was happy I got to see The Strumbellas. They are awesome. I left A to listen to them. I really like that we are confident and independent even together.
Here’s a track for your enjoyment:
Date #339 – Friday, July 4, 2014
A: It was Independence day AND the first day of TURF… And I had the flu. TURF is my favourite summer festival in the city and I wanted to go so badly but B encouraged me to rest up for day 2 and 3 of the festival instead. It was a good choice, since I was really sick. I never used to get the flu… I guess that’s long gone. I’ll never forget date #2 when B convinced me to come over, even though I had the flu. We watched a movie that used to make me bawl my eyes out as an adolescent. Where the Heart Is. Have you seen it? I think I’m due for a re-watching. Or a re-reading. The book is heart-wrenching.
B: It’s really hard to tell how sick A is because she HATES being sick and hides her sickness really well. Should we have gone to TURF? Well, Beirut, Born Ruffians, Deer Tick and more were playing. If you don’t know, those are bands that we both LOVE.
That is how sick A was (and how completely tired I was). I was really tired. I only know this now because I’m asking myself “Did you really miss out on Beirut?”
1st Anniversary Jays Game
Date #337 – Wednesday, July 2, 2014
A: B’s parents got him a ticket to this game. I wasn’t originally supposed to go but when my schedule freed up my pal and I used our seasons pass to get in. We ended up sitting together and it was so much fun. We were in the same place but with new people and different seats and it was a really refreshing and fun game.
Two weeks prior I had emailed and called to set up a visit from Ace, the mascot, and Jays force for Brian, and I waited the entire game for him to show up. He never did. I can’t lie. I was really upset, though I hid it. I ended up texting the guest services number that they have plastered everywhere and their team came by with a postcard wishing us a happy anniversary. B was really pumped and grateful and, although I tried to hide it, I can’t help but feel as though I came of as an ungrateful child. Oh well. Maybe next year Ace will come for a visit.
B: My Mom had planned to go to the Jays game with my Grandparents for awhile and she gets really good seats and A was supposed to be working and so I said “OK.” Well, it turned out A wasn’t working and this was the 1 year anniversary of when A asked if I would be her boyfriend right before I got off the subway.
I was actually really worried about this day being special. You see so many things in the media about anniversaries and I didn’t have anything like that planned. I think this day was perfect though. It was filled with things and people we love and we got to share our celebration with all of them…including the Blue Jays!
Yeah, I sent them a tweet about our anniversary and then they came and brought A and me a card. I thought it was the tweet but it turns out A wrote them awhile ago! (she’s great) Then the Jays hit a walk-off home-run in the 9th to win it all.
Later we got coffee and had dinner and other people who saw our Instagram posts wished us a happy anniversary too. I think I’m so lucky to both have found someone who I love so much and who inspires me to share that love so much.
Loon Choir & Fireworks on the water
Date #336 – Tuesday, July 1, 2014
A: We played the train game again but this time B’s dad didn’t play. He totally wanted to after we were 20 minutes in so he hopped on to B’s grandma’s turn and it was hilarious. I was dying of laughter. Had to be there, I think, unless the photo above is any indication. It was adorable.We headed to the Oshawa Canada Day festival – and how few photos we have! – to see B’s sister’s incredible band, Loon Choir, play the gazebo stage. It was lovely. Oshawa reminded me a lot of London. That is all.
Later, we went to the harbour and sat on the front of B’s parent’s sailboat to watch the fireworks. It was really sweet. I felt really lucky to share this memory with B. I keep thinking, “It’s crazy that I’m on a boat right now with a sexy man in some suburb of a huge city. How did I get here???” And then I remember that everything happens one step at a time and then all of a sudden you’re knee deep in all the good things.
B: This was a really great day. I’ve realized with holidays that it is important to keep things simple – surround yourself with people you love. I love watching my sister play with Loon Choir. She is and the band are really talented. Plus, we were on a lake and that is awesome.
Watching the fireworks with my parents and Grandparents was pretty great too. It was a triple date and that was kind of funny and nice. Watching the fireworks my Mom kept remarking at all the smoke and how beautiful it was. I kept saying how we were watching massive pollution.
I liked the moment and am really grateful for that, but do wish for a more environmentally friendly way to celebrate our Nation’s birth.