Here we document our way to 1,000 dates – the joys, challenges, growing pains – and all the in-betweens.
Making “Good Karma”
Date #318 – Thursday, June 19, 2014
A: We were SO busy helping my friend shoot a short film all day that we didn’t get many pictures. I have a patio blog so that’s where the one on the left came from and the other was taken because I couldn’t see the screen in the bright sunlight so I took a photo and moves to the shade to look at it (can’t move the camera because of continuity!).
I like working on projects like this with B because I get to see B work with sound and I find that interesting. I always learn something new.
B: This was a lot of fun. Making movies is great and I think A and have different styles that compliment each other. I didn’t know too much about A’s friend’s film, but I knew they needed help with sound and that a film with poor sound is simply a poor film.
I got to help on lighting too and talk about camera settings and generally be geeky with A. We then went to a patio and I bugged the servers about switching the TV the moment the World Cup game was over to the Blue Jays game. A’s friend and I talked a lot too, probably more than we ever have before. It was a cool progression in our friendship.
Painting in Rouge Park
Date #309 – Monday, June 9, 2014
A: This day was amazing. I can’t believe Rouge Park is a mere 30 minutes from where I live – which is downtown Toronto. This park is incredible and B and I had such a good time planting ourselves along a creek and painting to ourselves. I could have stayed there all day. Unfortunately we only had a couple hours given the time constraints on our AutoShare trips, but I’m so glad we did this.
The first time we tried to do this we got in a fight and I just cancelled the car reservation. I couldn’t stop thinking about that when we were on our way. Sometimes I think about what could go wrong so much that I actually make it go wrong. I’m not sure if that’s an accident or subconsciously purposeful although I’d really like to think that I want our trips and activities to go well. I sometimes question my own thoughts or decisions; like they don’t always align with my end goal. Am I nuts?
In any case, B is wholly receptive of this, sometimes too often. It’s a strange dynamic that I’ve found myself in but I love it and him for loving me. I don’t question that.
B: Ohhhhh, now I get why I felt all of this tension. I mean, there is usually tension for me when travelling (I think some other people may feel a similar way). I love when I read A’s comments and I learn something new about our time together. It’s interesting how in any given moment you may be feeling something intensely, but are unable to articulate that.
The paining was incredible and I also wish we could have stayed longer. A is much more organized than I am, so I was having a bit of a difficult time painting. I do abstract work to music, so there are a lot of variables. I was even happy to just sit by the creek and take pictures of A. She was so still while painting. I was all a fluster.
We were so excited by the idea of making art in nature we filmed this short video for CBC’s #OwnSummer contest.
Figment FUNdraiser Art Party
Date #306 – Saturday, June 7, 2014
A: We got to be a part of this epic fundraiser for Figment Toronto happening in July. Our project Disposable was well-received thanks to the awesome attendees and despite our totally lethargic and sleepy vibe. Spending the day in the sun and then the night running an installation was exhilarating and…. blurry.
B: I can’t believe that we did both Field Trip and this installation in one day – especially with me still healing from a car accident! We actually set up before going to Field Trip and we did it so quick. A and I were so efficient. I love when we work together and we operate like a well oiled machine. One big challenge is documenting all of the cups we collect, but A and I just devised a system without really discussing much and went to it.
The people at Figment are amazing and the whole event was incredible. I’m really sad that we may not be able to attend the actual festival on July 26-27.
Calendar mixups and Cafés
Date #296 – Wednesday, May 28, 2014
A: I goofed. We were supposed to be meeting EcoJot at Red Rocket – a great cafe near Danforth and Greenwood but I put it in my calendar incorrectly. Instead we just drank these amazing coffees that they have (B will remember their name I hope) and ate treats. The peanut butter cookies are amazing.
B: Yes, we had a meeting with this great Eco-friendly stationary company, EcoJot, about a new product they are releasing and so we rushed on our bikes to this café only to realize the meeting was the next day. Our calendar is super organized, but when you put the event in the wrong day, it doesn’t work. When A told me about the mixup I just laughed. I knew we wouldn’t be able to meet the next day and I told her it was OK and that we would just have to reschedule.
Thankfully the people at EcoJot are just as cool and understood. People make mistakes. The coffee was great. We had americanos where the espresso is pulled through cane sugar, giving it a very unique flavour. We got to work for a bit until I had to leave for another meeting. A came with me and I got to enjoy another bike ride with her.
Short Film Work
Date #291 – Saturday, May 24, 2014
A:This little film is a lot more work than I thought! THANKFULLY I have gotten an incredible team together and we met up today to talk logistics and to work out all that we need to do. I’m so lucky and grateful to have this opportunity. I can’t even express in words how grateful I am.
B: Watching A lead other’s is a real treat. She has an incredibly creative mind and I’m so happy that others see this too. It was a lot of fun to get together with everyone, go through the script, and really start to see the pieces come together.
A has written an amazing script and assembled an amazing team.
Meetings, Burritos, Siblings, Art + Fashion
Date #266 – Wednesday April 22, 2014
B: Toronto has a tone of festivals during the Summer. A and I met with the other main Writers and Editors of Toronto Social Review to plan out how we will cover all of these festivals. We’re all good friends and I was getting a bit worked up because everyone can get off topic amidst catching-up. We got organized and got stuff done and it was really productive.
After A and I stopped for Burritos at Big Fat Burrito. She got hers “mild” but they still put some hot sauce and a jalepeño. When A told them and they asked her to “try and eat it.” This kind of poor customer service upsets me. I tried to suppress my frustrations to support A. She painfully ate the burrito and then sent Customer Service an email. They responded well and gave A a free burrito. The whole process seemed like torture.
After we headed to the Fashion + Art Toronto |FAT| event to see some photography work by one of the Editors of TSR. My sister met up with us and we checked out the work, including this cool nail-vest (Bleeder Woman by Živa Božičnik Rebec). I was really tired but had a great time with them. A and my sister chatted on the walk to the Subway and it was nice to see them get along so well.
A: I can’t eat spicy food and it’s so irritating! You know when you’re super hungry and you just want to indulge and you can’t because of x, y, or z? B and I have actually run into this a few times (like having to send an entire pizza back because there’s meat on it!). Argh! Telling me to “try and eat it” is an awful way to deal with a mis-made order. But I got a free burrito out of it. Although I’m not sure how keen I am on returning.
In any case, the FAT show was great and I loved that B’s sister came! There wasn’t too much to look at but it’s all inspiring because I could see myself creating work that would suit an event like that. Hope!
Create A Buzz!
Date #254 – Thursday April 10, 2014
A: We presented Disposable at East End Arts Create A Buzz! night. It’s a night where artists have 3 (THREE!) minutes to present their projects or programs involving art and the public is welcome to come listen and perhaps invite presenters to festivals or curated nights. It was ALL B’s plan and execution, as I mentioned in Date #252.
I was nervous and stuttered a lot. B is a natural presenter and practices this a lot. I am SO RUSTY. I barely present anything anywhere. I’m a writer. I sit at home in my head and share my thoughts every so often. And our 3 minutes went by so quickly. But it was a great night. I met some really great people and we have some great activities on the horizon! Woo! (Thank you East End Arts!)
B: This event was really incredible. I love working with A and I got so inspired to keep moving forward with our project. Meeting everyone and showcasing Disposable made me realize that our mission to inspire people to re-think their coffee-cup consumption is an important one.
Check out our presentation:
Endings and Create a Buzz! Planning
Date #252 – Tuesday April 8, 2014
B did most of the Create A Buzz! planning. He signed us up and kept track of the dates and such. I am really grateful for that because I was feeling really overwhelmed by the number of projects I have going on and the impending job change I was in the midst of. He organized all the slides and had so many great ideas. I typed up notes as we looked at all the slides and had a skeleton presentation all set for Thursday. It was awesome. I was really impressed.
B: In all the excitement A may have forgot that this was her last day at the production company and the eve of her starting to work on a new TV Show. A does have a lot of projects and is very talented.
Planning for this was great. I can get very serious and specific about projects (I am a perfectionist) and A knows how to handle my temperament really well.
Hand-made baseball bats!
Date #243 – Wednesday April 2, 2014
B: This amazing company, Garrison Creek Bat Company, hand-makes bats and then lets artists turn them into even more incredible, one-of-a-kind pieces. This was their 3rd Season Opener and I’ve been to every one.
This one, however, was by-far the best. There was a tone of amazing food (including soft pretzels and various mustards) and a raffle for a custom, signed Roberto Alomar bat. ( Roberto is a former Blue Jay an Hall-of-Famer). The raffle was to raise money for Jays Care, a charitable foundation run by the Toronto Blue Jays.
A and her cousin showed up before me and took in all of the festivities. Once I got there I was swept into talking to some of my friends who either co-own the company and worked on the bats. A was super awesome and came up and joined in on the conversations. A few of them actually knew her writing and I thought that was pretty sweet.
A: It was cool to be here with my cousin and her friend. B showed up later and spent the night talking to other people. Ran into a friend I knew from a couple years ago. Biked home with B.
All in all, the bats were cool!
The Great Upheaval
Date #204 – Feb 19, 2014
B: We may have missed the AGO’s contemporary art exhibit “The Great Upheaval” on Date #203, but we made it there the next day! Determination!!
I wanted to visit this exhibit for awhile. It’s about the modern artists who flipped the art world on its head between 1914-1918. Kandinsky, Monet, Picasso, all those art rock-stars. But, for some reason, I couldn’t focus.
As you may have surmised from past dates, I was having a weird week. A few times I got caught away in the paintings, but at one point A reminded me she wanted to exist in this world and not talk about others.
The exhibit was awesome and the history of the influence these artists had incredible – it reminds me of how artists today are using the Internet and how Tumblr is bringing the art world together.
When A and I got back to my place I got really overwhelmed and edgy and said something I can’t even remember now. It wasn’t particularly mean or upsetting, but given the week I was having, enough to put A over the edge. She went to sleep and left the next morning without saying anything. I contacted her later and she said, “I don’t want to talk about this now. I have to do a lot of thinking about our relationship and I don’t know how long that will take.” I responded, “OK, I understand. I am sorry and I want to talk about this when you are ready and I will be here to talk no matter how long that takes.” There was no fear of breaking up, just a, “things aren’t working and we need to take a step back and figure this out,” kind of tone.
A:Here are my feelings in a journalistic tone on TSR about the wonders of this AGO exhibit, and here‘s a very similar but more personal take. I was hesitant to tell B to stop talking about everything other than art but he told me a few days earlier that, if I was busy or didn’t want to talk about something, I should say so. I usually do, but I’m also trying to be a better listener. In any case, I told him I wanted to be with the art. One of my major pet peeves are when people talk about what they’re going to have for dinner while they’re walking through a gallery. Why are you even here!??! I want to yell at them.
But yes. It doesn’t matter what B said, it just matters that there was a major disconnect and I went to sleep in silence. It was quite horrible emotionally but I generally like to think about how I feel before I share it. I’ve seen people ruin and I’ve ruined relationships spilling words fueled by emotion so, this time, I told myself to take my time with it. B respected that and it meant a lot.
The short and sweet is that I have a tendency to be somewhat submissive and it’s not always a good thing. Thankfully, I am fully aware of these moments and I strive to communicate my needs and feelings with whomever I am coming up against. It’s important to talk about this stuff and, if the other person doesn’t listen, maybe they’re just not ready or there’s a lack of awareness on their part… or yours. Life is complicated. Thankfully, B and I try our best to iron out the wrinkles as soon as they occur.