Here we document our way to 1,000 dates – the joys, challenges, growing pains – and all the in-betweens.
Tag: 1000 Dates
Loon Choir & Fireworks on the water
Date #336 – Tuesday, July 1, 2014
A: We played the train game again but this time B’s dad didn’t play. He totally wanted to after we were 20 minutes in so he hopped on to B’s grandma’s turn and it was hilarious. I was dying of laughter. Had to be there, I think, unless the photo above is any indication. It was adorable.We headed to the Oshawa Canada Day festival – and how few photos we have! – to see B’s sister’s incredible band, Loon Choir, play the gazebo stage. It was lovely. Oshawa reminded me a lot of London. That is all.
Later, we went to the harbour and sat on the front of B’s parent’s sailboat to watch the fireworks. It was really sweet. I felt really lucky to share this memory with B. I keep thinking, “It’s crazy that I’m on a boat right now with a sexy man in some suburb of a huge city. How did I get here???” And then I remember that everything happens one step at a time and then all of a sudden you’re knee deep in all the good things.
B: This was a really great day. I’ve realized with holidays that it is important to keep things simple – surround yourself with people you love. I love watching my sister play with Loon Choir. She is and the band are really talented. Plus, we were on a lake and that is awesome.
Watching the fireworks with my parents and Grandparents was pretty great too. It was a triple date and that was kind of funny and nice. Watching the fireworks my Mom kept remarking at all the smoke and how beautiful it was. I kept saying how we were watching massive pollution.
I liked the moment and am really grateful for that, but do wish for a more environmentally friendly way to celebrate our Nation’s birth.
Healing practices, OITND, + National Doughnut Day
Date #304 – Friday, June 6, 2014
A: It wasn’t until we were back at my apartment and well into Orange is the New Black that I realized it was Lua’s 8th birthday AND also National Doughnut Day. Because of all this we promptly left on a search for doughnuts. Unfortunately my neighbourhood is hurting for two things: an abundance of coffee shops and bakeries. There’s basically nothing and, no, we do not count Starbucks, Country Style, Tim’s, blah blah. We don’t count those. But today we had to.
And I know I want to blame B for being a horrendous influence by saying over and over that “I never used to eat ANY doughnuts before I met Brian” (which is TRUE)…. but it’s more likely this thing called self-control. That. I don’t have that. Any advice on how to get some would be great.
B: I could blame my on-again-off-again doughnut obsession on my Dad, but like A said, it’s about self-control. I was feeling sad for myself and my accident so of course I used National Doughnut Day to indulge!
If we were in my neighbourhood (Little Italy) I could visit an array of local bakeries, but we weren’t and we were only able to find Country Style. We started watching Orange is the New Black and I have to say the first few episodes were disappointing, unfocused, and drawn out. Multiple times I noticed how shots went on to long and many scenes were simply people standing around talking. Luckily, the doughnuts were pretty good.
Whitby, work, and healing
Date #303 – Thursday, June 5, 2014
A: We spent the day in Whitby. B’s mom came in the night before to be there for B and we went home with her. It was good to have someone else there. It deinitely let me worry a little less about what could happen with B. You never know about the outcome of an accident until you know… You know? I don’t know. I distracted myself with freelance projects while B took baths and sat on heat packs. That’s what we did. All day.
B: A, my Mom and my older Sister all convinced me to go back to Whitby after the accident. On the way back (the night before) we picked up pizza from Panago and a bunch of other snacks that were unhealthy. Sometimes, when the adrenaline is running high from stress, you just want to keep eating high-glucose foods. It was fun to spend a night with A and my Mom. We watched Nashville on Netflix and I took a long epsom salt bath followed by an ice-cold shower. I also drank a lot of Vega’s Recovery Accelerator.
The next day was I took another one of these hot baths + cold showers. I woke up feeling better than I expected. I was moving slow and had little mobility, but I wasn’t in constant pain and that was good. We visited the doctor and A did a lot of work. I’m happy she was able to be productive, I was worried about that. I hate how these kinds of things can derail routine.
He’s “okay” – a car ran a red and smack!
An awful date #302 – Wednesday, June 4, 2014
A: Worst. Date. Ever.
We were biking back to my apartment after our Ecojot meeting and, literally on my block, a woman driving a car wasn’t paying attention and ran a red, hitting Brian. I screamed seconds before because I saw the car which likely prompted the woman to break but she still made contact with an unsuspecting Brian who was in front of me. His butt smashed the windshield and his bike is pretty much totalled. It was horrific and traumatic to see.
I was hit by a car in 2007 and it’s become this giant grey cloud that I constantly think about. It’s effected every aspect of my life and I was immediaely worried about the long term affects that this may have on B. But B’s body and mind are not mine and I am proud of him for responding and being as strong as we was.
I finally understand what my friends went through when they saw my accident. They had a harder time than I did, and I think I might have a harder or just as hard time as B with this particular experience. Thinking of how life can change on whim has once again reminded me that we are just… temporary.
B: I don’t think a lot about death but I do think a lot about my life. I think about the impact I want to have on this world and how every choice I make is a part of that affect.
When the car hit me it was sudden. I remember A’s piercing scream and the wheels screeching. In my head I just thought “Oh fuck, am I seriously now on top of a car?” When I came off the hood I was in shock. People often talk about “fight or flight” response but they forget that there is also a freeze response. I just stood there and stared at the woman.
I’m so happy A was there. She helped direct the driver to a side street, she helped get me in the ambulance and told the paramedics that I needed to be X-rayed (which should always happen after a hit). She called my Mom and rode with me to the hospital.
I feel so lucky that I am alive, I wouldn’t want to leave A.
Date #301 – Wednesday, June 4, 2014
A: Finally I got something right and we made it to our actual EcoJot meeting. It was a great conversation talking about what B and I do (I love hearing him speak about his life) and how we are setting up our lives to be brand ambassadors for products, services, and activities we love. We both want to be busy and productive people and we both want to be very involved in the workings of the world so it’s great to have someone feed into those wants and needs as a partner and an inspiration. We’re really excited about EcoJot’s venture into electronic writing and I can’t wait to try out their new products!
B: I got to this meeting early and ordered the coffee you see above (an iced Americano where the espresso is pulled through cane sugar). I also got A a peanut butter cookie because I know she loves them.
I take meetings with people very seriously and I know I was putting a lot of pressure on this situation. I want to craft a life where A and I can be creative and work with others who are creative and also share similar value. Part of that means finding a way to financially be sustainable, and working with EcoJot would be amazing. A mentioned how she was stressed about not working and I got a little peeved because I think what we were doing was work.
The people from EcoJot showed up just then and it initially felt a bit awkward (I think we were just caught off-guard). We ended up having a great conversation with them about their sustainable notebooks (of which I have many) and some new stuff they are working on. It was a lot of fun to be in this context with A and I want to do it more.
French Improv Finals
Date #300 – Tuesday, June 3, 2014
A: Our friend does French Improv and it was the finals for the season so we went to support her. B went to French Immersion but, to be frank, he was a poor translator this night. I didn’t really know what was going on and when I asked him he just stared and me and smiled. So I was pretty lost. But the red team won so at least I could say I was there!
B: It’s hard translating OK!! Alright, freakout over. Yes, I could have done better. It is hard though. Improv moves fast and translating jokes in an interesting way is tough. It was a lot of fun to go and support A’s friend. It was our second time, but I didn’t get to sit next to A the last time.
At one point A’s friend did a sketch where she was a translator and spoke English, French, and Spanish. It was great because I could tell she made this character just for A.
Welcome home treats
Date #299 – Monday, June 2, 2014
B: On our last date, during our FaceTime call, I told with A about how I used to have a sombrero and lost it. I got it in high school at an event but left it on the train on the way home. For some reason I was still sad by this. Whenever I see ponchos and sombreros I think Clint Eastwood and Western films.
A brought back this amazing sombrero for me and it only cost $5. The best part was probably all the pictures she sent me of her wearing it around Ottawa. They were hilarious and awesome!
A: A few dates ago at the VCTO, Brian put on a poncho and, because of the video I made, the poncho became a thing Brian wears. Naturally. Well, I went to the Ottawa Little Theatre garage sale in Ottawa and, although there were no ponchos, I got this sweet sombrero for $5! I’m not sure if B ACTUALLY likes it, but it was a funny thing to carry around all weekend.
Face time date!!!
Date #298 – Friday, May 30, 2014
A: I headed to Ottawa for the weekend on a ticket I’d bought months ago because it was so cheap. When I got there, Brian FaceTime’d me. I propped my phone up on the counter and it was as though he was in our conversation. It was weird. Yes, technology still weirds me out. It was cool to have him there. Somehow it happened that the three of us were eventually wearing hats so we sent Brian on a venture to find one at his parents house where he was.
A weird and funny hour. Yes… Hour!
B: I’ve never really FaceTime’d in a way that feels natural…until now. I was surprised at how I actually felt like I was with A and her friends in Ottawa.
I was at my parents’ house sitting and going stir crazy. It was fun to talk to A and her friends and for them to actually participate in the conversation and treat me like one of the gang. The hat part was fun.